How to achieve/set goals in 2019

Hey boos,

Yay! Here we are in 2019, Happy new year! We all made it and I am proud of every single one of us, glad we all made it safe. I’d like to say a special welcome to all those that joined us in 2018, I’m glad you’re here and I’m excited to see where we will all go this year!

Today, the first Wednesday of the year, I would like to give you 5 helpful tips on how you can set and achieve your goals in 2019!

Let’s get right into it.

1. Be diligent

I don’t think a lot of people pay a lot of care when they make their goals, I think they just think of things they would like and then write that down.

People sometimes write their goals without any intention of actually following through with them so they don’t spend a lot of time properly thinking about what they actually want to achieve.

My tip is to take time and think about what you want to achieve, what do you actually really want to achieve? is it realistic? is it a continuous goal or is something you can complete during the course of this year? What aspects of your life do you want to see change? How many aspects of your life would you like to work on this year compared to last year? How do you intend on carrying out these goals?

2. Less is more.

The few goals you have, the more diligently you can work on them. Think about all the aspects in your life you would like to work on and have a few goals for each. For example, I have categorised my goals in 6 sections, faith, health, appearance, inner self, business and academic and in each section I have an average of 2 goals (apart from my faith goals where I have 4).  This way when I look at my goals, I don’t feel overwhelmed and having few gives me the ability to make in depth plans on how to achieve them.

3. Be Measurable.

Let your goals be measurable, because this way at the end of the year when you look back to see how you did, you can have tangible results. For example, under my business goals, I have the goal to reach 500 followers on my blog and this is measurable because at the end of the year, I can look at my blog followers and see how well I did. Under academics, for another example, I have the goal to study an hour everyday separate to the time I spend doing coursework. This is different from saying “at the end of the year, I want to study more” because I could study for one second more and call that an achievement and it’s also not very accountable because at any given day I could study for 5 minutes and tell myself I’m accomplishing my goal but 5 minutes won’t really make any difference (to me personally) in what I’ve learnt.

4. Put your goals everywhere.

Put your goals everywhere and I mean it, everywhere. It’s very easy to forget things in the world we live in, there is so much information floating around catching our attention that we forget things so easily. It’s very easy to write the goals and then put them in a journal that you’re never going to open until the end of the year. Write these goals and put them in places you look at often (your mirrors, your refrigerator, maybe as your wallpaper on your phone, at your desk) put it everywhere and even if you do get desensitised to it and you dont notice yourself reading it, it is still in your brain subconsciously.

5. Switch up the wording. 

If you are moving some of your goals from last year into this year, I would suggest that you change the wording or add something to it to make it interesting and new. You don’t want to start of the year bored of your goals is essentially what I am trying to say.

If your goal for the last ten years has been to lose tummy fat, switch up the words, you could for example do your research as to what types of food  increases fat building around your stomach and set yourself a challenge to stay away from those foods.(I am not saying that you should quit eating bread or dairy or whatever it is, as I’m not a dietitian I can’t make those claims), what I am saying is, do your research and set a challenge for yourself. You might not quit anything but instead decide to do a workout catered to abs and weight loss a certain amount of times per week, I don’t know, that’s at your discretion.

Those are my tips for goals and I hope that this really helps everyone achieve their goals this year! Let me know what some of your goals are and how you plan on achieving them. Don’t forget to like, comment and follow and come back next week Wednesday for another post!

Have a blessed day,

Lots of love,

Gedo xx

OVER weight: my story

Hey boos,

How is it going? good? that’s good.

I’ve decided I’m gonna do a series called OVER weight which follows my weight journey. This was supposed to be one blog post but I realised I have a lot to say so it’s gonna be a 3 part series. The next one is gonna go in depth with my relationship with food but this one is more about how it all began and where I’m at now.

Today’s topic is gonna be a hard hitting one but let’s not make it awkward though. Let’s remember that this was then and now is now and I’m more than good now. I think it’s good to talk about these things because someone might be going through it right now and they might see or read something like this and feel better.

Anyway so back then, I didn’t really have a good relationship with my weight, not anyone’s fault, there was no childhood trauma that made me rely on food as a crutch, I had a really great childhood. When I was really young, I did not enjoy eating and it was a struggle for my parents to get me to eat but I had a really bad sweet tooth so it wasn’t long before I started putting on weight.

I don’t remember weight being an issue for me until I got into primary school.

Kids were vicious and I’m not going to play the victim card because I know I was vicious too so again, it was no one’s fault. I got picked on a lot because of my weight (I wore glasses as well so that didn’t really help my situation). I left the school and things got better because I went to a new school where I was appreciated and my weight wasn’t made fun of  but the damage had already been done.

My weight became my touchy subject and I always saw myself as overweight even when I wasn’t.

I moved countries and became even more aware of my weight, I had lost most of my baby fat by then but I could not shake off the feeling of being overweight. I remember a girl, my friend, poked my stomach once through my hoodie and I shrinked, I didn’t want her to feel my big stomach. Holland was good for me though, we ate very healthy and biked everywhere, I was probably my most fit then.

It got worse when we moved again though, this time to Aberdeen. Biking didn’t really happen anymore because we took the bus, I had friends again and a wide variety of unhealthy places to go out to eat, we still ate healthy at home though. It got worse because all I could see was how overweight I was (even though I wasn’t really..) and gaining weight was my biggest fear. I used to hate my body, I have this memory of just staring at myself in the mirror and looking at my thighs (so cliche) and just feeling so ugly.

I wanted to be skinny but I couldn’t, I would eat unhealthy things or just too much and then feel guilty then I would try to make myself throw up the food so atleast it wouldn’t be in my stomach (it never stuck, thank God) but I couldn’t get myself to throw up. Now I like to think that it was God helping me out but back then I did not see it like that. I frequently asked if I was gaining weight and I thought, if I could just be thinner then I would be attractive so I would run heavily for two weeks at a time, give up, eat a ton of junk food, feel bad, run again for two weeks and it was a constant cycle.

I would watch youtube videos with girls that looked thin (not on purpose, that’s just what they looked like) then I’d google how to get a flat stomach in 2 weeks.

I just wanted to be thin. I just wanted to be thin fast.

I went to a church camp, came back and I remember looking at myself in the mirror a few weeks after and not feeling that hate that I felt and that was probably the beginning of the end.

It took me a while to learn to exercise not for other people but for myself, and it wasn’t really until this year that I learnt to exercise for health rather than out of desperation.

There are still times when I look at myself when I was younger and feel upset because I was thinner then, there are still times when I binge out and then feel extremely guilty and frustrated at myself.

I’ve learned to appreciate myself through it all though and I’ve seen that growth in myself.  Last month I think, I put one of my old graduation dresses on and I couldn’t zip it up all the way, if that were me even just at the beginning of the year, that would have pushed me into despair, I would be upset and sad and disappointed.  This time, I was sad for a few minutes, I took off the dress and put it away and decided that if I wanted to fit in that dress again, I had to do it healthily through exercise and good food. It might not happen in a week or a month but through persistence and consistency.

I’m not gonna lie and say I’m no longer affected, if I’m being honest, gaining weight is still a big, big fear. Sometimes I catch myself not eating because I want to lose weight but I know now that, that does not help.

So what changed?

Me.

I changed.

I began to see exercise as something you did for yourself, I see the joy in working out. I’m gonna sound like a #GymLad right now but I feel so good after getting a good work out, to me working out is an easy way to achieve goals. If I tell myself I want to run on the threadmill for 20 minutes and my body surprises me and I run for 30 minutes, I feel proud, I feel happy, I dance around the gym (depending on how many people are there)

I actually enjoy eating healthy. I like the way I feel when I have a salad or when I exercise self control and cook instead of getting a takeaway.

It is something that takes a while especially if you’ve been made fun of as a kid for being fat, that’s the kind of thing that sticks to you but I think once you realize that  weight isn’t something that chains you down, you can lose it if you want to, sure it takes effort but you can do it.

Only when you learn to admire yourself, can you really begin to admire yourself in motion. It’s only when you appreciate your legs that you can really love how strong they feel when they’re running and you’ll learn to love the pain because it reminds you that you DID THAT.

Am I still gonna see pretty thin girls, or pretty curvy girls on my instagram and feel bad?

Yea, maybe a little but I’ll remind myself that my body is great too and so is everyone’s. It’s kept me moving this far, it’s taken you from point a to b for this long, there’s beauty in that.

It also helps that the maker of the heavens and earth loves and cherishes me the way I am 🙂

But yeah, this is part one. See you next week Wednesday for part two.

Have a blessed week,

Lots of love,

Gedo xx

You’re doing great.

Hey boos,

I haven’t done this in a while and it almost feels foreign, which is kind of sad. The days fly by so fast and before you know it, it’s 3 am a week before your semester exams and you’re half way through second year? It’s all a bit mad.

First, a quick update.

I don’t really know what to say, I guess I’m still transitioning into myself and that’s fine. I definitely do see growth in the way I act and in the way I respond to things,  there aren’t massive changes but I know they are steps in the right direction. Rome wasn’t built in a day and even though my slow pace can be frustrating at times, I know I will get to where I need to get to eventually.

I also had dinner with my friends last week, where I attempted to make Nigerian food and we spoke about Christianity and it was good, I think good chats came out of it but we’ll leave the rest in the hands of God.

I have exams literally next week, next week Tuesday. Don’t start.

Anyway, I’ve been noticing that as December is approaching, people seem to be burning out. I’ve heard a lot of complaints about tiredness and overthinking and going through it. Personally, I think it’s the year coming to an end and exams and everything seems to be taking its toll.

I was watching a video and at the end of it, the person says “You’re doing great” and I honestly almost started crying and I instantaneously felt better, it was then that I realised no one really says that anymore. When was the last time you told someone that they were doing great? When was the last time someone told you, you were doing great?

I think, as people, we’ve become so good at acting and so good at deciding for others. We’ve become so good at acting because we go on pretending as if everything is okay and as if we are perfectly perfect when we aren’t so no one ever thinks to give us any sort of reassurance. We’ve become so good at deciding for other people in that, we see someone and we instantly think they do not want or need reassurance.

I’m here to tell you that I am so proud of you.

Yea, you.

You’ve come so far from when you first began and I see it even when you don’t and I am so so proud of you for that.

I love watching the person you’re becoming, and even though you are tired and feeling a bit or very burned out and everything just seems like noise.

You are so loved and so appreciated and so well looked upon by your friends and family and you might be feeling lonely right now, but listen to me,  you aren’t. Trust me you are not. You have your friends and you have your family and you have me, always!

You may be feeling like you’re not beautiful or you are not attractive or smart or nobody loves you, but listen to me, you are beautiful.

You are beautiful and okay so maybe I don’t know what you look like but do you know what I know? I know that you’re beautiful in your soul, in your heart, in the thing that keeps you alive, you are beautiful there. You may not be able to see it, but the people around you do.

Maybe you’re not in a relationship and everyone around you is, so you feel like you’re not good enough, but you are. You don’t want to be with just anybody, you want to be with someone who loves you, every single bit of you, not just you when you look attractive but also you at 6 am in the morning when you haven’t taken a shower in 3 days (please take a shower) and don’t know what you’re doing with your life and you’re not going to find that in just anybody, it takes time. You take time. You are so worth that time.

You might not feel smart because everyone around you seems to be getting better grades than you, even though you try your hardest and you’re just tired. Listen, you are smart and maybe it takes you a little bit more effort than everyone else, that doesn’t make you stupid. You are smart and it’s okay if you’re smart in a different way, that’s still smart.

Please stop hating yourself.

You don’t deserve that.

Get to know yourself more, become friends with you. Do you even know what you like? what are your hobbies? what’s your favourite colour?

Get to know you, I’m sure you’ll surprise yourself.

Like I said Rome wasn’t built in a day, no good relationship just happens like that. A relationship with you is just like any other relationship, it needs time and nurturing. Become acquaintances first, talk about the weather and all that boring stuff then hang out with yourself, take yourself to see a movie, take a walk, talk to yourself.

You’re doing so well, my love. Be proud of yourself.

tldr: You’re doing great.

You’re doing so, so well.

Recommended song to listen with post: It is well (live) by Kirsten Dimarco, Bethel Music

Greater things by Mack Brock