strength is not the absence of love

Pink is not a colour of weakness. 

For centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that people who are gentle, people who are kind, people who are loving are weak. We’ve been led to believe that in order to be strong, you must be the loudest one in the room, you must be big, you must never retreat, you must be angry, you must be cold, you must be red. 

Pink is strong. 

Pink understands the first law of thermodynamics. 

Pink knows that energy cannot be created or lost, it can either be transferred or change (take that all hard science students that think psychology is NOT A REAL SCIENCE). Pink understands that hurt is energy and although pink can’t destroy hurt, pink knows that pink won’t transfer it, so even though you push pink, even though you toss pink, even though you use and misuse pink, pink won’t shove his younger brother out of the way, pink won’t shut off her friends. 

Pink is strong

Pink can fight

Pink can probably fight better than you. Pink can throw hard blows.

Pink takes self defences 3 times a week, I wouldn’t mess with pink if I was you. 

Pink is strong.

Pink knows how easy it is to frown, Pink’s probably done it before. Pink knows how easy it is to be cold and pretend you don’t care about anyone but yourself, Pink also knows how lonely it is. Pink knows that although intimidation is cool in movies, it doesn’t really work in real life.

Pink knows people need people and people need people that smile, people need people that laugh at jokes even when they’re not funny, people need people that support wholeheartedly, people need people that are optimistic, people need people that encourage

Pink understands how important just a simple smile is. 

Pink smiles. 

Pink can insult you. 

Pink knows exactly what to say to make you fall to your knees, Pink knows your patterns, your insecurities, Pink could break you if Pink wanted to but Pink understands that life is hard enough. Pink is soft, pink will absorb it, you need that. 

Pink is small

Pink is small but Pink knows that you don’t need to be big to be great, Pink knows that you have to be small to fill up the gaps. Pink also knows you don’t need to be the loudest to be at the top, so Pink has mastered the art of silence. Pink looks around when everyone speaks, Pink now understands that you enjoy being asked questions about your career so don’t be surprised if Pink consistently asks you about how your internships are going. 

Pink could be red. 

Pink has probably been red. 

But Pink knows that people don’t need red. 

People need Pink. 

So Pink will be Pink. 

Just because strength is not as how you see it, that does not mean that it is not there.

There is a lot more strength in smiling, in backing down in an argument, in letting someone go first even after they’ve tried to cut you in the line than there is fighting back. 

There has been a lot of emphasis and praise, especially in recent times on being the type of person that does not care, there is also this belief that because you’ve been hurt in previous relationships, that means that you must harden your heart to everyone. I admit that I too operated under this unspoken law until I understood that I shouldn’t, I can’t, let someone alter my behaviour based on their bad choices. It doesn’t make any sense, why should I change for someone else’s mistake? And why should other people pay for that person’s mistake?

It seems as though people don’t understand that this has a negative effect, if you treat someone as though they are going to hurt you or that they might hurt you, they will eventually drift away from you because people don’t want to be made to feel like they are walking on egg shells. 

There lies greater strength in opening your heart to people. 

ANYWAY, that’s all for another day. 

Have a blessed week, 

Lots of love, 

Gedo xx

 

 

How to achieve/set goals in 2019

Hey boos,

Yay! Here we are in 2019, Happy new year! We all made it and I am proud of every single one of us, glad we all made it safe. I’d like to say a special welcome to all those that joined us in 2018, I’m glad you’re here and I’m excited to see where we will all go this year!

Today, the first Wednesday of the year, I would like to give you 5 helpful tips on how you can set and achieve your goals in 2019!

Let’s get right into it.

1. Be diligent

I don’t think a lot of people pay a lot of care when they make their goals, I think they just think of things they would like and then write that down.

People sometimes write their goals without any intention of actually following through with them so they don’t spend a lot of time properly thinking about what they actually want to achieve.

My tip is to take time and think about what you want to achieve, what do you actually really want to achieve? is it realistic? is it a continuous goal or is something you can complete during the course of this year? What aspects of your life do you want to see change? How many aspects of your life would you like to work on this year compared to last year? How do you intend on carrying out these goals?

2. Less is more.

The few goals you have, the more diligently you can work on them. Think about all the aspects in your life you would like to work on and have a few goals for each. For example, I have categorised my goals in 6 sections, faith, health, appearance, inner self, business and academic and in each section I have an average of 2 goals (apart from my faith goals where I have 4).  This way when I look at my goals, I don’t feel overwhelmed and having few gives me the ability to make in depth plans on how to achieve them.

3. Be Measurable.

Let your goals be measurable, because this way at the end of the year when you look back to see how you did, you can have tangible results. For example, under my business goals, I have the goal to reach 500 followers on my blog and this is measurable because at the end of the year, I can look at my blog followers and see how well I did. Under academics, for another example, I have the goal to study an hour everyday separate to the time I spend doing coursework. This is different from saying “at the end of the year, I want to study more” because I could study for one second more and call that an achievement and it’s also not very accountable because at any given day I could study for 5 minutes and tell myself I’m accomplishing my goal but 5 minutes won’t really make any difference (to me personally) in what I’ve learnt.

4. Put your goals everywhere.

Put your goals everywhere and I mean it, everywhere. It’s very easy to forget things in the world we live in, there is so much information floating around catching our attention that we forget things so easily. It’s very easy to write the goals and then put them in a journal that you’re never going to open until the end of the year. Write these goals and put them in places you look at often (your mirrors, your refrigerator, maybe as your wallpaper on your phone, at your desk) put it everywhere and even if you do get desensitised to it and you dont notice yourself reading it, it is still in your brain subconsciously.

5. Switch up the wording. 

If you are moving some of your goals from last year into this year, I would suggest that you change the wording or add something to it to make it interesting and new. You don’t want to start of the year bored of your goals is essentially what I am trying to say.

If your goal for the last ten years has been to lose tummy fat, switch up the words, you could for example do your research as to what types of food  increases fat building around your stomach and set yourself a challenge to stay away from those foods.(I am not saying that you should quit eating bread or dairy or whatever it is, as I’m not a dietitian I can’t make those claims), what I am saying is, do your research and set a challenge for yourself. You might not quit anything but instead decide to do a workout catered to abs and weight loss a certain amount of times per week, I don’t know, that’s at your discretion.

Those are my tips for goals and I hope that this really helps everyone achieve their goals this year! Let me know what some of your goals are and how you plan on achieving them. Don’t forget to like, comment and follow and come back next week Wednesday for another post!

Have a blessed day,

Lots of love,

Gedo xx

You’re doing great.

Hey boos,

I haven’t done this in a while and it almost feels foreign, which is kind of sad. The days fly by so fast and before you know it, it’s 3 am a week before your semester exams and you’re half way through second year? It’s all a bit mad.

First, a quick update.

I don’t really know what to say, I guess I’m still transitioning into myself and that’s fine. I definitely do see growth in the way I act and in the way I respond to things,  there aren’t massive changes but I know they are steps in the right direction. Rome wasn’t built in a day and even though my slow pace can be frustrating at times, I know I will get to where I need to get to eventually.

I also had dinner with my friends last week, where I attempted to make Nigerian food and we spoke about Christianity and it was good, I think good chats came out of it but we’ll leave the rest in the hands of God.

I have exams literally next week, next week Tuesday. Don’t start.

Anyway, I’ve been noticing that as December is approaching, people seem to be burning out. I’ve heard a lot of complaints about tiredness and overthinking and going through it. Personally, I think it’s the year coming to an end and exams and everything seems to be taking its toll.

I was watching a video and at the end of it, the person says “You’re doing great” and I honestly almost started crying and I instantaneously felt better, it was then that I realised no one really says that anymore. When was the last time you told someone that they were doing great? When was the last time someone told you, you were doing great?

I think, as people, we’ve become so good at acting and so good at deciding for others. We’ve become so good at acting because we go on pretending as if everything is okay and as if we are perfectly perfect when we aren’t so no one ever thinks to give us any sort of reassurance. We’ve become so good at deciding for other people in that, we see someone and we instantly think they do not want or need reassurance.

I’m here to tell you that I am so proud of you.

Yea, you.

You’ve come so far from when you first began and I see it even when you don’t and I am so so proud of you for that.

I love watching the person you’re becoming, and even though you are tired and feeling a bit or very burned out and everything just seems like noise.

You are so loved and so appreciated and so well looked upon by your friends and family and you might be feeling lonely right now, but listen to me,  you aren’t. Trust me you are not. You have your friends and you have your family and you have me, always!

You may be feeling like you’re not beautiful or you are not attractive or smart or nobody loves you, but listen to me, you are beautiful.

You are beautiful and okay so maybe I don’t know what you look like but do you know what I know? I know that you’re beautiful in your soul, in your heart, in the thing that keeps you alive, you are beautiful there. You may not be able to see it, but the people around you do.

Maybe you’re not in a relationship and everyone around you is, so you feel like you’re not good enough, but you are. You don’t want to be with just anybody, you want to be with someone who loves you, every single bit of you, not just you when you look attractive but also you at 6 am in the morning when you haven’t taken a shower in 3 days (please take a shower) and don’t know what you’re doing with your life and you’re not going to find that in just anybody, it takes time. You take time. You are so worth that time.

You might not feel smart because everyone around you seems to be getting better grades than you, even though you try your hardest and you’re just tired. Listen, you are smart and maybe it takes you a little bit more effort than everyone else, that doesn’t make you stupid. You are smart and it’s okay if you’re smart in a different way, that’s still smart.

Please stop hating yourself.

You don’t deserve that.

Get to know yourself more, become friends with you. Do you even know what you like? what are your hobbies? what’s your favourite colour?

Get to know you, I’m sure you’ll surprise yourself.

Like I said Rome wasn’t built in a day, no good relationship just happens like that. A relationship with you is just like any other relationship, it needs time and nurturing. Become acquaintances first, talk about the weather and all that boring stuff then hang out with yourself, take yourself to see a movie, take a walk, talk to yourself.

You’re doing so well, my love. Be proud of yourself.

tldr: You’re doing great.

You’re doing so, so well.

Recommended song to listen with post: It is well (live) by Kirsten Dimarco, Bethel Music

Greater things by Mack Brock

 

The importance of a 100

Hey boos!

It’s finally happened! I am so excited and so happy, I’ve finally hit a 100 (+1) followers on my blog! For a lot of people it might not seem like a big accomplishment but I am very happy about it because it’s quite important to me, let me explain.

I started blogging when I was 12 years old, I got inspired by icarly and wanted a platform of my own. Since then it had just been a cycle, I’d start a blog, stop writing in it after a couple months and start another one. I’ve probably had 6 blogs before this one and none of them lasted very long, instead of focusing on what I had and growing it, I kept looking for something better. I actually started this blog because I was feeling depressed and needed some kind of creative outlet to let off steam and basically talk about people behind their backs (lol).

Having 100 followers to me means finally being able to decide on a goal, stick to it no matter how long it takes and actually accomplishing it. Having a 100 followers is almost to me, like a testament to my growth. I am no longer that girl who saw hard work and ran, who instead of working on her garden would look for one that was already made.

It’s taken me a long time to decide what my niche is; when I started this blog, I took the form of a fashion and style blogger but I soon realised that that really wasn’t for me, that’s not the kind of thing I want to post about. So here I am, 100 (and 1) followers later and carving a niche for myself and honestly I’m happy with it and  I thank God.

I geniunely believe that now I’m at this point, it can really only go up from here and it will so ride on 1000, I’m coming for you!

To celebrate, I’ve included some clip ons I’ve written from years ago, enjoy! (the first two are from 2012 and the second from 2015, oh dear)

Captureoldpostsoldpic2

(Be prepared for some changes coming to this blog, huehue)

Have a blessed week,

Lots of love,

Gedo xx

GGTG: Gettin’ right with God

 

Hey boos,

How are you all doing? Hope your weekend has been all you’ve wanted it to be!

So if you’ve been following my blog consistently, you’ll remember that I posted a blog post Gospel Girltalk…or Guy: An honest Conversation. where I talked about how I didn’t love God as I should and how I only saw him as a military figure (either you do this or you’re out) and I think I can say that I am no longer on that route anymore.

This post is for Christians who are at the same point as me but have no idea how to get out of it, not all the things that worked for me are going to work for you and that’s perfectly fine, don’t beat yourself up about it, every person’s relationship with God is personal and there is no strict/distinct route that everyone must follow!

Here are the few things that I did that helped me.

  1. I constantly asked myself the question “Does this concern/affect my personal relationship with God?” and if the answer was no then I just left it alone.

If you spend a lot of time contemplating about the nitty gritty, thinking about what everybody is saying, taking everyone’s opinion to heart then it’s going to affect your relationship with God because then you’re not looking at him from your eyes, you’re looking at him from the eyes of everyone else.

2. Watch Transformation Church’s grace like a flood series (Grace).

It has helped me so much when it comes to rewiring what I once thought about who God was, it’s helped me see him in a different light. I 100% recommend, over and over again!

3. Listen to gospel music.

I actually enjoy listening to gospel music, I like Hillsong, I like Rend collective, Jesus Culture and some people might find it difficult finding gospel music that they enjoy so a list of gospel music could be something that I can look into.

4. Speak to God like how you’d speak to your friend or your mom.

God is like your closest friend, your dad so feel free to speak to him like your dad that he is. There is no one in this world that loves you and want to be your best friend more than he does so go for it.

5. Don’t put the pressure on yourself.

Don’t fear yourself into pushing him away by thinking you’re not a “good Christian”, God loves you and the moment you remove the pressure from yourself to be “the perfect Christian”, to believe in him, to appreciate all the things he has done for you. Make loving him your goal, not reading the bible everyday or praying twice a day.

From watching the Grace series there’s one thing I learnt that changed everything and that was, people don’t go to hell because of sin, they go to hell because they don’t believe. Human beings will slip and slide but God has already arranged for that, it’s your love he’s out for and once you realise that, it’s easy.

I was talking to one of my christian friends and I asked him how does he love God, how is he so close to him and he told me, I’m not really good at praying or reading the bible everyday and that left me stumped because I was praying and reading my bible everyday but I didn’t feel any connection with God because I didn’t love him. It was only after I retraced my steps, found out how I liked worshipping him (gospel music), learnt about his grace and how he will always love me that I finally began to understand.

Our relationship is not perfect, he is but I’m not and that’s fine because he loves me like that and I will regress sometimes but that’s also fine because he understands, all I need to do is cling onto his hand even when I can’t see his face because at the end of the day even though I may not be able to see him, he’s still carrying me along.

I really hope this helps and if you’re at the same place I was, please reach out because I completely, completely get it.

Have a blessed day,

Lots of love,

Gedo xx

(P.S. I have a fundraiser, https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ojoagedo-yamusa, please donate if you can!)