How are you?
I remember last year, I said I was going to start writing a few goals for myself on the blog and then re-visit them at the end of each month so we can all see how well I did, I never actually stuck to that idea but it’s the start of April and there’s no time like the present so let’s do this.
One of the things that I really want to pay attention to this month, is well, myself. I’m currently in the season where I am learning about myself and who I am in Christ and what my full capabilities are, God has watered me to be comfortable in myself but I think now he’s trying to teach me who that self is. So this month I’d like to focus on myself and discipline and one of my goals is to get better at removing emotion from my every day tasks.
Removing emotion from everyday tasks.
To a lot of people, that might sound very odd but let me explain. I am a very emotion centred person, I focus on how things makes me feel rather than looking at the advantages and disadvantages of doing something and sometimes it helps; I mean, it’s helped me till this point, but at other times it really doesn’t. If I say I want to go to the gym or go to bed or eat healthy but I don’t feel like it, nine times out of ten, I won’t do it. My goal is to look at everyday tasks logically and not let my emotions, what feels good and what doesn’t feel good, decide whether I do the tasks I need to do or not.
Keeping my environment tidy.
I struggle with keeping my environment in order and that stems again from my previous point, if I don’t feel like tidying my room, I just won’t do it and that often leads to me doing a lot more deep cleans than necessary. This month I’d like to focus on keeping my environment tidy, putting things away right after use, if I see something that needs cleaning, cleaning it right away instead of letting it pile up.
Seeing my blog and youtube as a job rather than as a hobby.
This again might cause people to be like huh? why would you want to do that? Well again, my first point, if I don’t feel like writing on my blog or filming a video, because in my head, it’s just something I do for fun, I won’t do it. I don’t create content as often as I should or as often as I could, however if I start seeing my blog and youtube as a job, as something I have to do, it will encourage me to get consistent and work better.
Be on my feet more.
I want to encourage myself to be more active, walking when I can instead of taking the bus, being outdoors more and enjoying the nature and the fantastic body and ability that God has given me. The thing about me is, I actually do really enjoy being active, I love jogs and I love walking, I’m sure I’d love hiking, I enjoy moving around and doing things but I’ve never been disciplined with myself enough to explore that part of me, so I’d like to see where I can go this month with that.
I don’t encourage anyone to copy these goals or way of thinking if it does not benefit them. For example if you are a person that value work over their life and never takes a break then I would never want you to see your hobby as your job as that would suck away the fun right out of it for you. I challenge you to think about who you are and set goals that will excite you and challenge you and help you discover more about yourself than you ever knew.
We’ll catch up again at the end of the month.
Have a blessed day,
Lots of love,
“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else” 1 Thessalonians 5:15
How are you?
I haven’t been on this scene in such a long time, I apologise. I’m probably the worst blogger ever at this point but never fear, I’m genuinely going to try and upload more times a week because I have a lot of thoughts. Shall we try Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Today, I want to talk about kindness and why it is so important for us to make sure we show kindness to everyone, every single person. The definition of kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. We live in a society today, and I say this all the time, where being mean is glorified. It’s worse in Western societies where we have individualistic values, so instead of pouring into the community, pouring into each other, we’d rather pour into ourselves which is good, but not all the time.
I really believe that kindness is often times the right choice, we can’t read each other minds or know what the other person is thinking and because of that, it’s so important to treat each and everyone with kindness and respect.
The things that I remember the most and love to remember the most are kind actions that people have done to me, like once I had to carry my suitcase up some flight of stairs and I remember being a little bit stressed because I had to carry it and this guy, randomly out of nowhere comes and he takes my suitcase and helps me carry it up the flight of stairs, (S/O to you dude, I hope you’re good). I remember when I was ill and my friend went and got paracetamol for me and another time when I was ill and one of my friends helped me get something from the supermarket.
When we put ourselves in the mind of kindness, we make small yet powerful impacts in the lives of others. I truly believe that the world smiles back at us when we are kind, kind consistently and kind for kindness sake. Call me cheesy but I wholeheartedly believe in the phrase “when you smile at the world, the world smiles back”. When we are kind to other people, we become more positive, life is a little sweeter, we enjoy things a lot more.
Myself for example, I spent a long portion of my life believing that being mean was cool, that if I didn’t smile and if I pretended I was cold and unfeeling, people would respect me and want to get to know me but I wasn’t really content*, the relationships I had never really ran deep, I honestly just wasn’t having a good time. Then I got closer to God and my faith and saw how much God talked about love so I embraced that idea and honestly my life is a lot better, I feel a lot more positive, I’m genuinely excited about life and I genuinely love people (people still annoy me A LOT tho, dont get me wrong)
I’m not saying that there will be one big overnight change, you smile at one person and all of a sudden your anxiety goes away but I think if we take small steps to get outside of our heads, the moment we learn to do things for another person’s benefits; small things like open doors, smile more, be there for friends and family, be encouraging, be more appreciative, rather than thinking about what WE might gain from it, we are one step closer to finding contentedness in this fast paced, over-achieving world.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this tidbit, let me know what you think in the comments below!
Have a blessed day,
Lots of love,
*Now I’m not saying that everyone is like or should be like me, there are some people who are naturally reserved or really shy or are just not very good at being there for other people. Being kind can be different for everyone depending on who you are and what you’re like, for some people being kind can look like not making someone who looks extremely uncomfortable speaking, speak all the time. It can look like not asking someone to do something for you because you know that they are extremely busy, it can look like giving someone the change they need. Any way in which an action is not necessary and not beneficial to you but beneficial to someone else can be seen as kindness, I reckon.
** If you go to hug someone and they say “no, thank you. I’m not comfortable with hugs.” and you don’t hug them, that’s not kindness, that’s what you should do. If you see them later on and they are looking a bit down and a bit upset, you encouraging them and listening to them not because you want to go talk about them with your friends later or because it’ll make you seem like a good person but simply because they need it, that’s kindness.
So first of all, I don’t know if I’ve used “vote of thanks” in its correct context however I feel like if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I have some really questionable titles (see strength is not the yeeting of love)
Anyway, if you know or perharps you didn’t know (or you knew but you didn’t care, or you didn’t care and you didn’t know or you- )Anyway! I got baptised today (weyhey) and I just feel this huge sense of appreciation, I at first was gonna do a quick social media post but then I remembered I have a blog (ooop) and this is essentially what a blog is for, a place where I can go on and on (and on and on and on and on it goes)
So I just wanted to say thank you, to the people in my life, to the people who came to see me take this huge step today, to people who wanted to make it but couldn’t, to people who have influenced my life one way or the other, whether it be love or learning.
I haven’t always been the cheeriest of people, and I haven’t always been the most positive but now I’m just so grateful for everyone in my life. Family and friends, people that I’ve known my whole life or met for the first time today. I’m thankful for those that have stood by me in the happiest of times, those that who have stood by me in the toughest of times and those have gotten me prawn tempura at 10 pm in the night (wink)
This isn’t just for people who have shared deep moments with me, this is for everyone who has shared something with me, whether it be memes, hugs, deadline dates, a smile, a flat, a compliment when I didn’t feel great.
This is for all the superheros and legends, for walking me back at 12 am at night in the rain when you didn’t have to, putting up with my constant rambles and speaking to me at 3 am, after a night out because my insecurities were playing up again.
I want to say a phat thank you to those that still speak to me even though I make fun of them all the time (I love y’all really), to those that have cooked me food because I couldn’t be bothered to cook and listened to me whine about how annoying my crush of the week is (he’s v annoying tbf), to those who have taken the role of boyfriend until one actually comes (you’re doing a great job sweetie)
I want to say thank you to friends who have known to keep their distance and those who know I’d rather they kept their distance but still approach me anyway because they know deep down, I really need to talk about it. To those who’ve been patient enough to explain things to me and lend me books and speak to me first because #ambivert.
I want to say thank you for the tiny things people do that they think I might not notice like asking me if I’ve got my keys because they know how forgetful I am or asking me if I want to keep my phone in their purse or if I need a hand or not making me use a Halloween filter because they know I don’t celebrate Halloween or opting to be there as a moderator in situations I don’t know how to control.
I want to say thank you to those who have confided in me, for being honest when I ask how are you (cause when I ask I actually mean it!), for those who come to me first because they know I will listen, thank you for sharing your heart with me, you didn’t have to but you did.
Lastly, I want to say thank you to friends that I don’t speak to anymore, friendships that withered away because we grew apart or we weren’t compatible. Thank you for your friendship, you were a blessing in my life and thank you for being civil whenever we do see, I appreciate that. If you ever need me still, I’ve got your back.
If I’ve known you for a day or for 20 years, I love you. I do, and people might say well Gedo you can’t love someone you’ve just met but you can and I’m the living example of that, people are great, what’s not to love 🤷🏾♀️ (Except the ones that aren’t…well..yknow..)
This is probably the cheesiest thing I’ve ever written (well debatable, I used to write one direction fanfic yikes) but it’s also the truest thing I’ve ever written.
I never thought I’d be one of those girls that were super positive and used the “!!!” a lot and just shoved how much they love their friends down everyone’s throat but then here I am (now me probably would annoy then me so much lol) happier than ever, thank God for God (amirite)
Anyway this blog post wasn’t planned, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone because I appreciate and love you all and honestly, I could probably easily write a whole dissertation plus extended essay plus research paper but y’know I need to eat.
thank you guys 🙂
I love youuuuu (..ish)
Pink is not a colour of weakness.
For centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that people who are gentle, people who are kind, people who are loving are weak. We’ve been led to believe that in order to be strong, you must be the loudest one in the room, you must be big, you must never retreat, you must be angry, you must be cold, you must be red.
Pink is strong.
Pink understands the first law of thermodynamics.
Pink knows that energy cannot be created or lost, it can either be transferred or change (take that all hard science students that think psychology is NOT A REAL SCIENCE). Pink understands that hurt is energy and although pink can’t destroy hurt, pink knows that pink won’t transfer it, so even though you push pink, even though you toss pink, even though you use and misuse pink, pink won’t shove his younger brother out of the way, pink won’t shut off her friends.
Pink is strong.
Pink can fight.
Pink can probably fight better than you. Pink can throw hard blows.
Pink takes self defences 3 times a week, I wouldn’t mess with pink if I was you.
Pink is strong.
Pink knows how easy it is to frown, Pink’s probably done it before. Pink knows how easy it is to be cold and pretend you don’t care about anyone but yourself, Pink also knows how lonely it is. Pink knows that although intimidation is cool in movies, it doesn’t really work in real life.
Pink knows people need people and people need people that smile, people need people that laugh at jokes even when they’re not funny, people need people that support wholeheartedly, people need people that are optimistic, people need people that encourage.
Pink understands how important just a simple smile is.
Pink can insult you.
Pink knows exactly what to say to make you fall to your knees, Pink knows your patterns, your insecurities, Pink could break you if Pink wanted to but Pink understands that life is hard enough. Pink is soft, pink will absorb it, you need that.
Pink is small.
Pink is small but Pink knows that you don’t need to be big to be great, Pink knows that you have to be small to fill up the gaps. Pink also knows you don’t need to be the loudest to be at the top, so Pink has mastered the art of silence. Pink looks around when everyone speaks, Pink now understands that you enjoy being asked questions about your career so don’t be surprised if Pink consistently asks you about how your internships are going.
Pink could be red.
Pink has probably been red.
But Pink knows that people don’t need red.
People need Pink.
So Pink will be Pink.
Just because strength is not as how you see it, that does not mean that it is not there.
There is a lot more strength in smiling, in backing down in an argument, in letting someone go first even after they’ve tried to cut you in the line than there is fighting back.
There has been a lot of emphasis and praise, especially in recent times on being the type of person that does not care, there is also this belief that because you’ve been hurt in previous relationships, that means that you must harden your heart to everyone. I admit that I too operated under this unspoken law until I understood that I shouldn’t, I can’t, let someone alter my behaviour based on their bad choices. It doesn’t make any sense, why should I change for someone else’s mistake? And why should other people pay for that person’s mistake?
It seems as though people don’t understand that this has a negative effect, if you treat someone as though they are going to hurt you or that they might hurt you, they will eventually drift away from you because people don’t want to be made to feel like they are walking on egg shells.
There lies greater strength in opening your heart to people.
ANYWAY, that’s all for another day.
Have a blessed week,
Lots of love,
Nestle had always been a “too” since she was a baby.
She was always too much
or too little.
She was either too small or too big
She was too strong, too rough, too passionate, she had too many edges, she asked too many questions.
Tetley had always been a “to”
He was always in the background.
He was never the subject or the object but simply took his position between them.
In his last year of high school, his 4th girlfriend (he’d had one for every year) had had a conversation with him he had tried to forget, she was trying to break up with him and he was trying to understand why.
“This isn’t about me is it?” he asked, referring to the breakup
“That’s the problem T, this isn’t about you, it’s NEVER about you! It’s always about me, it’s always “how’s YOUR day” or “what do YOU want to do” or “okay if YOU want” It’s like your life does not exist without me, it’s like YOU don’t exist without me, without someone, like you can never be alone because then there is nothing about you. Tell me, have you ever said or done anything that wasn’t completely influenced by someone else?”
And that’s exactly what had brought him to the dodgiest centre he had ever had the displeasure of seeing. 1/2 of the neon letters in its sign had stopped working so instead of being “Bobby’s pleasure centre”, it looked like “Bby’s ere entr”, it looked a bit ominous if T was being honest and the thought of going home had crossed his mind but he swatted it away.
His ex girlfriend’s words had stayed with him even though he was in his third year of University now, he had seen the advertisement for this free ballroom dancing class on gumtree and the conversation he had with her came flooding back to him because he once told her it was something he’d like to do, but she said it was too cringey so he didn’t. He signed up without much thought, that would show her, also the girl he was currently talking to said she really liked boys who did “out of character” things, joining the rugby team at his University was most certainly not an option as his somewhat skinny frame would break if any of the athletic rugby lads so much as looked at him and atleast if he embarrassed himself here, no one would know about it.
She had noticed him first.
He wasn’t exceptionally good looking but Nestle liked that, she didn’t like boys that were goodlooking, she always found them somewhat inauthentic, he had a boyish features and ginger hair, features that she wouldn’t normally find attractive but he worked with them well.
Nestle was certain she had found the love of her life or maybe it’s the dim lighting and the adrenaline from the fact that there is atleast one cute guy here, she smiled at the thought.
Well I hope he doesn’t wear that shirt at our wedding, Nestle laughed silently and rolled her eyes at the thought. I’m so annoying.
T scanned the room, there was a comfortable amount of people, comfortable in that it wasn’t cramped enough to feel claustrophobic but not too few to feel self conscious. There was a good mix of guys and women but it seemed as though most were either couples or friends, everyone seemed to know each other. His eyes stopped at a girl who seemed to be a bit farther away from the crowd, she was a black girl with cool dark blue braids in, T had had enough black friends to know that that probably wasn’t her real hair and to know that commenting on it was probably not the best conversation starter, except maybe if it was a compliment but then she’d probably have heard that a lot. He still thought it was cool though.
She was smiling and maybe it was the lighting but she had a beautiful smile.
The instructor called for everyone to gather in a circle, possibly introduce himself and give some instructions, T wasn’t paying attention.
His eyes looked for hers again.
She was standing right underneath the light this time, directly opposite him. Her eyes were gleaming and she tilted her neck slightly, she stared at the instructor in deep concentration, she was quite cute. His eyes moved downwards, she was wearing a black turtle neck and mid length tartan skirt. He looked down at his own choice of attire, a purple and white plaid shirt and jeans, his favourite.
T was never one to shy away from conversation or from people, he liked talking, he liked making jokes, he liked being around people, it made him feel cool, for lack of better word and under normal circumstances, he would just stroll to her and ask her if she’d be his partner but she made him nervous, like she might look at him and see his whole life and not be interested.
The instructor was now calling for everyone to find partners and everyone was looking to each other, she had moved away from the light.
Waiting to be chosen, she sighed and looked around, she couldn’t understand why people never chose her, why she was always left on the sidelines. She looked at the cute guy who was currently staring at another girl, this always happened to her, she was never going to be chosen.
He wasn’t sure what to do but he knew he didn’t really have much time to think, it was either now or never. His legs started first and before he knew he was right in front of her, he had walked up to her and she couldn’t believe it, she was smiling again, this time with teeth and she was beautiful.
And she was still beautiful when he placed his arm, in the most cutest awkward way she had ever seen, around her waist.
And gosh, was she beautiful when he spun her, because her skirt spun too and she laughed and if this was a ball, she would definitely be the belle.
“So what’s your name?” she asked in the break, her eyes soft but like fire at the same time, piercing, daring almost.
“Well people call me T,” he responded hoping she wouldn’t ask him his full name “What’s yours?”
“Surely, it must come from something,” she laughed “What’s your full name?” she sounded like she actually cared about what he had to say, she looked like she wanted to know everything about him.
“Promise you won’t laugh, I hate my name, like I feel like my parents were having a laugh when they named me.” He said smiling, she laughed, he had such a lovely smile and his voice was nothing like anything she thought she would be attracted to but she loved it, she would have never thought that an Irish accent could be remotely sexy, especially after how many times she had heard it.
“Let’s hear it then.”
“My full name is Tetley,” she couldn’t help laughing at the coincidence, it was just too humorous.
“I told you not to laugh!” he said like a child, which only made her laugh harder. he had an amused expression on his face which made her crush for him intensify and his eyes, his eyes were so piercing, they made her feel like a girl and a woman at the same time.
“No! No!” she said in between giggles “It’s not that, it’s just..” she said
“Just what?” he asked, crossing his arms again like a defensive child.
“My name is Nestle.” He couldn’t contain it himself either and laughed
“Are you serious?” He said through chuckles
“I guess our parents really enjoyed breakfast beverages.”
The conversation rolled on for the rest of the night. She called him Tea and he in return called her Mocha, because that was her favourite coffee. He went to the University of Edinburgh and she went to Heriot Watt, she gave him the facts about why Heriot Watt was superior, he didn’t agree. They both agreed One Direction was the best thing that happened to them however he was very “After Zayn” and she was “Before Zayn”.
She was different, she had responses.
She was fast with her remarks.
He asked questions.
She understood all his references.
He knew his memes.
She even had ones he did not recognise.
There were so many things she could tag him in.
She was funny.
He laughed at her jokes.
She was energetic.
He was grounded.
She was eager.
He was calm.
She asked questions.
He didn’t make her feel like a nuisance.
She was passionate.
She was strong.
He was strong.
Even though she was little, her personality was big and she wasn’t afraid.
Even though he was big, he didn’t make her feel little.
She was honest.
He was kind.
She made him feel like he was the most interesting person in the world, he actually started believing he might be.
He made her feel just enough.
The class ended too quickly.
She wasn’t ready to go home yet, he had to make her stay.
He had to.
“Anywhere I can take you to?” He asked, grinning.
“Well, I guess I’m not too tired.” She responded.
And so they left together, to find a place for two.
TRIGGER WARNING: R*PE!
I am buzzing lads.
I don’t even have time for my usual greeting, I am way too excited for that.
Y’all notice anything different though?
ANYTHING AT ALL?
WE HAVE A DOMAIINNNNNN
I know! I KNOW!
I can’t believe that I’ve actually done it guys, like ugh join me in thanking God. I didn’t even think I was going to do it today! It’s currently 2:40 AM and I’m sat in this cute little nook I made for myself, sniffling in my satin pyjamas and I need to go to bed so I’ll finish this blog post off tomorrow but I just wanted to say that God did it.
On October 27th, 2:30 AM in the morning, Gedo made her very first investment towards her blog. On this day, she went from .wordpress.com to just .com. SHOOKETH.
Okay bed time now.
So it’s a reasonable time now and I’m finishing up this post, still sniffling in my satin pyjamas. I just wanted to say that this is feels like a big milestone, just a couple weeks ago I finally hit 100 followers (currently on 112 now) and it feels like things are coming together.
I know this post is extremely jumbled up and definitely not a”perfect” post but honestly not all posts will be. I am far from being the “perfect” “put together” human being that people on social media love to be, and honestly I don’t know if I ever want my posts to be all perfect and fancy and put together and lacking personality, do you know what I mean?
My blog posts are me and when people read them I want the experience to feel like a conversation with their best friend, I want people to feel like they are getting a bit of me, and I want them to feel like “oh well she doesn’t seem perfect and she’s doing it, so maybe I can too”.
Anyway, I am going way off topic but I guess what I’m trying to say is, even though this blog will continue to improve and get cuter and bigger, I’m going to try really hard to make sure it stays sincere, honest and raw.
So yea, cheers to .com.
Have a blessed day,
Lots of love,
“What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?” Psalm 8:4
How are you? I’ve literally been working on this blog post for a while now, trying to get it right but I’m going to let God take reign and let him tell me what he wants me to write.
Basically, I wanted to speak about God’s love because I feel like sometimes we forget, sometimes we get so wrapped up in the mediocrities of life that we forget about the wider picture, the blessings, God even.
I was at church a couple weeks back for a programme called peniel, it’s held every year during the summer and this year was my first time attending. One of the preachers in the programme said something along the lines of, God sits of the throne with millions of angels who praise him perfectly, exactly as they should yet when one person, one person who’s voice cannot even match the quality of your favourite singers much less the angels, God tells them to stop so he can listen to that one person. Can you imagine a love like that? telling a great room of the best singing you have ever heard in your life to stop singing so you can hear one human voice?
Who am I that God should love me? the creator of things that I cannot even begin to understand, who created the dots on strawberries and causes dew to fall on the grass in the early morning, who am I that he should love me?
“Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” John 15:13
It’s hard to understand this because as humans we’re a bit selfish, although we boast about loyalty and “ride or dies” when it comes to it, there would only be a small population of people who would actually die for their friends. Do you know who did? and who would again a 100 million times if he had to? Jesus Christ. Did you know that the night before Jesus died on the cross, his heart was heavy? Do you want to know why? Because he was dreading it. Matthew 26:39 says “Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will but you will” then he goes on to pray “My father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” (Matthew 26:42)
Basically he’s saying, “God I dont really want to go through it but if it’s your will for me, if this is what I have to do then I’ll do it”. Have you ever seen such an amazing display of self sacrifice? to first be betrayed by someone you love and called your own and sold for money, then publicly taken away only to have the very person promising he would never deny you, deny you three times, to then have the public choose to free a criminal over you, to carry your cross AND then be nailed to it and be left there for three days whilst the guards make fun of you?
Jesus did all that, for you.
And your parents and your siblings and your friends and your grandparents.
He did it so we could all get a chance to God’s real real children, to be tight with God, to be Gods’ daughters and sons, to be brothers and sisters with Jesus.
He did it, so you could be family.
So do you understand now why the price if you don’t believe in God is so high? someone had to die a despicable death for it.
“The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.” Psalm 121: 5-6
Soften your hearts and hear me, look at this, the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night, look at this love. Do you know what that means? it means that even at your most vulnerable stage, when you are not conscious and when you cannot do anything for yourself, God is protecting you, he is there, his angels are there, they are guarding you and keeping you safe. (Man I’ve teared up so many times with this post)
“The Lord will keep you from ALL harm- he will watch over your life; the Lord with watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Psalm 121: 7-8
Not some, not a few, but ALL, meaning every single harm, and not just today and tomorrow but for ALL of your life. Is that not love? Is that not real love?
“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared” -Proverbs 3: 26
Do you know what he is saying here? he says do not be anxious, he says do not be afraid, I know there are a lot of people who get anxious at night, anxious for life, anxious that they might die in their sleep, anxious that something bad will happen and here God is, God is “saying hey, hey listen, don’t worry about that, don’t be anxious about that, I got your back, just sleep, I got you”. Is that not real love?
What do you know about the God that leaves 99 sheep for the one that was left behind? What do you know about the God that says bring ALL of your burdens to me and take my own because mine is lighter? (I’m crying now) What do you know about the God that says I will carry you on my back and have my wings protect you? What do you know about the God that says “look I know you, I know you inside out, I know your weak points, I know the things you’ve done, I know you’ve said and done some things that hurt me and hurt yourself and the people around you, and even though the people might not have forgiven you, even though you may not have forgiven yourself, I forgive you.
I. Forgive. You.
I forgive you and I still love you.
To me, you are perfect, to me you are whole and you are clean and you are worth it and I love you.”
What do you know about that God? About my God? about Your God?
What do you know about the God that genuinely wants the best for you? That even in times of trial, he holds your hand, he tries to help it be as smooth as possible for you?
What do you know (I am quite literally bawling my eyes out, I’m gonna insert a picture to prove it) about the God that feels your pain? That feels your heaviness? The God that sees you crying in your pillow at 3 AM because your heart hurts and feels that pain?
(crying me x, in this house we love God and cry when we write about him, Alexa play reckless love by Cory Asbury)
I don’t know what people have tried to tell you, I don’t know what you’ve heard or what you’ve read but if you take one thing away from this, I want it to be this;
In all that noise, in all that white noise, people talking, shouting, hustle and bustle, traffic, hardships, heartbreaks, God is there. God is there and he loves you. God sees you and he sees your pain and he pats your back and he says,
“My child, the storm is coming to an end, I’m here, I’m right here. I love you and I’m right here.”
Thank you God.
I could probably write on forever but I need to keep this a readable length.
(It was cloudy and immediately I ended this blog post, the dark clouds went away and the Sun shone, like immediately, if that’s not a sign of someone’s breakthrough, of someone’s rainy days coming to an end then I dont know what is)
Have a blessed day,
Lots of love,
I hope everything is well with you! Mondays can be hard but you’ve got this!
Let’s just jump straight into what we are discussing today, relationships! (juicy..).
So I’ve been completely single, by completely single I mean, no flings, no physical (u know what I mean) contact, not even romantically talking, I’ve just been single. I’ve only had 1 “serious” relationship in my life which ended completely in 2016. From then on, nothing really happened, I spoke to boys but it never really lasted that long. After the last guy I spoke to, I had enough and in an offhandish manner, I told myself that I would spend a year away from boys, and it happened (not necessarily because I was staying away from them lol).
Whilst on this year long break, I discovered quite a lot both generally and specific to me. I thought I’d disclose them..
- Feelings change quickly.
I realised that feelings can develop unexpectedly, quickly and deeply but one can also fall out of them just as unexpectedly and quickly. This may be the reason why a good amount of people get ghosted, because feelings change quickly and unexpectedly and its easier to ghost someone than explain to them that your feelings have changed and you no longer really want to know them. It’s important to not only use your feelings to guage your interest in someone, use your head as well; if they were wearing a red shirt instead of a black one would you still like them? if you saw them in a different environment like walking on the street, would you go up and talk to them?
2. One hardly regrets relationships that never happened.
Let me explain, you meet someone. You think they’re gorg, you slide into their dms. You have a few conversations, you really “imagine” you two would get on well in a relationship, nothing happens still, the feelings fade and on reflection, you find that actually, you’re quite glad nothing happened because once the rose tinted sunglasses come off, then what?
3. Relationships are overrated but then so is being single.
You know when you see someone drink a coke or you smell cake or you watch someone have a doughnut and for the rest of the day, you crave whatever it is you saw the person have? You’re not hungry or anything, you don’t need the cake, the doughnut or the coke but you crave it and most of the time you eventually give into your craving and get it. That’s almost what it’s like looking at couples on instagram or watching them on youtube or even just seeing your friends in relationships. You actually begin to crave it, even when the last thing you actually need is a relationship and you yourself know it but then you get into one and realise it’s actually a lot of work, usually a lot more work than you have time for/are willing to spend.
Singleness is also overrated, people like to believe that singleness is peace of mind and only having to look after your own needs, which it is to some extent but people tend not to talk about the despicable feeling of feeling unwanted, loneliness and even simple things like wanting to share a meme with someone at the end of the day, or an embarrassing story that happened to you, sometimes even just a hug, a deep and meaningful hug.
I actually learnt quite a lot this year and I could do a part 2 if you wanted me to.
Thank you for reading.
Like, comment and follow if you enjoyed it and dont forget to follow me on my socials if you wish.
Have a blessed day,
Lots of love,