I hope everything is well with you! Mondays can be hard but you’ve got this!
Let’s just jump straight into what we are discussing today, relationships! (juicy..).
So I’ve been completely single, by completely single I mean, no flings, no physical (u know what I mean) contact, not even romantically talking, I’ve just been single. I’ve only had 1 “serious” relationship in my life which ended completely in 2016. From then on, nothing really happened, I spoke to boys but it never really lasted that long. After the last guy I spoke to, I had enough and in an offhandish manner, I told myself that I would spend a year away from boys, and it happened (not necessarily because I was staying away from them lol).
Whilst on this year long break, I discovered quite a lot both generally and specific to me. I thought I’d disclose them..
- Feelings change quickly.
I realised that feelings can develop unexpectedly, quickly and deeply but one can also fall out of them just as unexpectedly and quickly. This may be the reason why a good amount of people get ghosted, because feelings change quickly and unexpectedly and its easier to ghost someone than explain to them that your feelings have changed and you no longer really want to know them. It’s important to not only use your feelings to guage your interest in someone, use your head as well; if they were wearing a red shirt instead of a black one would you still like them? if you saw them in a different environment like walking on the street, would you go up and talk to them?
2. One hardly regrets relationships that never happened.
Let me explain, you meet someone. You think they’re gorg, you slide into their dms. You have a few conversations, you really “imagine” you two would get on well in a relationship, nothing happens still, the feelings fade and on reflection, you find that actually, you’re quite glad nothing happened because once the rose tinted sunglasses come off, then what?
3. Relationships are overrated but then so is being single.
You know when you see someone drink a coke or you smell cake or you watch someone have a doughnut and for the rest of the day, you crave whatever it is you saw the person have? You’re not hungry or anything, you don’t need the cake, the doughnut or the coke but you crave it and most of the time you eventually give into your craving and get it. That’s almost what it’s like looking at couples on instagram or watching them on youtube or even just seeing your friends in relationships. You actually begin to crave it, even when the last thing you actually need is a relationship and you yourself know it but then you get into one and realise it’s actually a lot of work, usually a lot more work than you have time for/are willing to spend.
Singleness is also overrated, people like to believe that singleness is peace of mind and only having to look after your own needs, which it is to some extent but people tend not to talk about the despicable feeling of feeling unwanted, loneliness and even simple things like wanting to share a meme with someone at the end of the day, or an embarrassing story that happened to you, sometimes even just a hug, a deep and meaningful hug.
I actually learnt quite a lot this year and I could do a part 2 if you wanted me to.
Thank you for reading.
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Have a blessed day,
Lots of love,