Happy November! We’re at the last and most important “ember” months and you know what that means, winter, Christmas (and Christmas break) and my birthday! 3 things I am very passionate about.
So as we all know, I am studying at University and honestly I love it but there are somethings that people don’t talk about but I’m gonna talk about them (so that’s what I am going to talk about…them, let’s get to talking….about..them.).
Not everyone feels this but it’s definitely something that is there. I don’t think it gets talked about enough. Everyone likes to focus on the social aspect of University and freshers and socializing and making as many friends as humanly possible but nobody really talks about what happens when everyone goes back into their rooms. After it’s all done and you go back to your room, you just feel a certain emptiness. Not to mention sometimes it’s so quiet, you’re pretty much forced to face the reality that you’re by yourself. I think the reason why this loneliness is so amplified in University is because you’re living next to people and you’re aware that they are there and you’re just closed off. How to combat this feeling? Keep yourself busy, do school work, watch funny videos (If anyone wants to notify Grayson and Ethan Dolan about my existence that would be cute), spend time with God, call your parents, read and just remember that it isn’t always going to be like that.
2. You’re not as good as you thought.
I’ve talked to people about this (lol one person but you know) and I know we’re not the only people that feel like this, key word being feel. When you get to University, you start to feel like you’re not as good at things like you thought you were, and that can really affect self esteem. You’ll find that some people feel like they’re not as smart as they thought they were, not as organised or as pretty (me) or as sociable (me) or athletic (lol we all know I’ve never been athletic…or..organised). When I first came to University, I spent a good two weeks thinking I looked like unkempt; I thought my hair was a mess and I hated my glasses and this is all coming from me. Obviously your intelligence has not decreased whatsoever neither has your beauty or social skills it’s just that now you are surrounded by more people than you are used to and also people that you have never met so your personal scale distorts itself. How to combat this? Remind yourself that the presence of another person’s beauty, intelligence or whatever does not indicate the absence of your own. You got this.
3. Not belonging anywhere.
University is a big place. If High school was a pool, University is like a friggin’ ocean (did I just say friggin…..ok). There are so many people and common sense would have it that bigger body of water means it’ll be easier to find your own school (LOL I JUST MADE AN AQUARIUM JOKE, I LOVE BEING EDUCATED). However common sense is wrong, it isn’t and often times you’ll find yourself feeling like you don’t belong anywhere or feeling like you don’t belong with any group. You’ll be hanging with a group of people and still feel like an outsider, they’ll be sharing jokes and laughing between one another and you won’t get it. You might be on the groupchat and they’ll be making plans and even though you’re invited, you’re not really, no one would really notice if you didn’t come just like no one would really notice if you did. How to combat this? Depends on the person, you can either make yourself relevant in the group, go out of way to be a part until you find your own group or you can just chill, go with the flow, talk to everyone until you find your own people. I also suggest joining societies, clubs, sports and honestly just being your truest self because you want to attract people that like you for you and share some of the same interests as you. Making life long friends isn’t easy or fast but it’s worth it.
4. Peer pressure.
Personally, I haven’t really felt this because if I don’t want to do something, I’m just not going to do it but I would completely understand those that are affected by it. You don’t want to be an outsider and you want to beat the loneliness so you just go along with what your people are doing because you also don’t want to feel left out, I get it. What do I have to say about it? If they’re really your people and you express to them that you don’t want to do it and they should stop asking, they’ll listen to you and drop it, sure they might tease you a little bit about it but if you don’t like that either, communicate that to them as well and they should stop. However if they don’t, maybe you shouldn’t settle on them being your crew.
5. Feeling misunderstood/judged
University is filled with all sorts of personalities and there are people, in fact a lot of people have grown up with the same friends and so have not been exposed to the other different personalities. They come to University and it’s filled with all sorts of personalities and mannerisms that they have never seen or experienced before and they just don’t know how to deal with it, which can very easily lead to misplaced judgement and feeling judged. I have a very interesting sense of humor and should rarely be taken seriously (except in cases like this, take me seriously now) and I will say things like “wow why am I the best thing that ever happened to this school” or “you’re so annoying please exit my life” or “Why does *insert name* hate me”. Obviously, I am joking, my friends know I am joking but people who aren’t used to my personality will think I am being serious and instantly label me as arrogant or rude or starting drama but I’m not, I’m just kidding (..for the most part 😉 ) and I don’t like explaining myself so I usually just let the person believe what they want (which probably isnt good lol). How to combat this? If you feel like you’re being misunderstood, it’s important for you to meet whoever it is that is making you feel the way you do and explain to them and if you’re like me and don’t like explaining yourself, don’t be like me.
6. Love in first semester.
Don’t. Just stop. It’s not- focus on your degree.
So there are 6 things that people feel in Uni but nobody likes to talk about. If you feel like this and need someone to talk to, I got your back. If you’re new and liked what you saw make sure to tap that follow button on the right to get notified when I post and if you still can’t get enough of me, follow me on my social media.
Have a blessed weekend,
Lots of love,
Disclaimer: I didn’t edit this over seriously so yea lol but you guys are my best friends, you’ll see me at my best and my worst, it’s still a great post though. You know it.