So I understand that as many people are returning back to school or going to new schools, one of the things a lot of people worry about is making new friends and being social. Now I’m not saying I’m the most social person at the party but I think I’ve come a long way since back in the day and here are some tips that helped me, hopefully they can help you too.
Tip #1: Smile, always smile.
Especially if you’re like me where if you’re not smiling you look like you don’t want to be there or you want to kill somebody. I’ve just gotten used to smiling, even when I don’t want to. However the tricky thing about this is, you have to make the smile real (or atleast look real) because if the person you are talking to notices a fake smile, they will immediately think you don’t like them and will not want to continue conversation with you.
Tip #2: ask Questions
If you don’t know what to say and you can feel the conversation slipping, ask questions. I tend to always go to questions about music or where they used to live and if they liked it there, questions that can keep them talking so they aren’t bored. Make sure you show them you’re listening, nodding your head is always a good way and saying your necessary “mhmnns” and “right” and “wow, I can only imagine”
You can also use questions to start a conversation with someone, even a simple “hey, do you know what time it is?” or “do you know where our next class is?” can lead to a conversation.
Tip #3: Talk about your night before
If you don’t want to go down the question route, just say “I’m so tired”, most of the time, the person will reply with “I’m so tired too” and from here you can either ask them what they were doing last night or proceed to tell them what you were doing the night before. If there’s a funny story to tell, by all means tell them!
Tip #4: Laugh at their funny stories
Some people like to tell little stories to the people they meet, sometimes about something that happened to them or to their pet or even to their siblings. If it’s a funny story, try to laugh! Laughing will make the person feel good about their story which will make them feel more comfortable with you. However just like with the smiling, the laugh must be real or seem real otherwise the person you are talking to will notice and will not want to continue the conversation
Tip #5: Count to 3 and then Go
This is a great tip especially if you feel like you don’t have the self confidence to just go up to people. What I tend to do is count to 3 and then blank out my mind and go for it. Immediately I count “3”, I do it so that my mind has no time to give me reasons not to do it and 9 times out of 10, it works out and I have really good conversations with people. So just count to 3 and the moment you hit 3, just go, don’t think about it, just go.
Of-course you must remember that sometimes it wont work out but that does not mean you should spend the rest of the day thinking about it, instead just congratulate yourself for being confident enough to initiate conversation and move on to the next person. The more you practice approaching new people and talking to new people, the more confident you find yourself being and your social skills will improve.
Hopefully you found these tips helpful and will use them the next time you find yourself around new people. When was the last time you approached someone new? How did it go? Let me know in the comments below.
Lots of love,