Reasons why you’ll never catch me at the gym

Hey boos,

I know I have been MIA for a very long time but that’s because a lot of things have been going on all at once and if you didn’t know, I’m on vacation in Nigeria and sometimes the wifi doesn’t work so that’s why. Hopefully blog posts will be a lot more frequent now! Thank you for waiting for me. Kisses.

I know the gym is a gal’s best friend when she’s trying to be fit and have a healthy lifestyle, and  maybe one day I’ll be that type of a girl but until then I think I’ll stick to Blogilates and looking like a fool in my own home.

So what’s up with me and why don’t I like going to the gym? Well for a number of a reasons and here are the most important ones.

1.Using the gym equipment wrongly

I’m sorry but I’m not trying to look like a fool in front of everybody because I don’t know how to use the equipment. I imagine it would look a little something like this

Me: *working up a sweat, breathing hard, feeling good about myself and expecting that bikini body* 

Enthusiastic Gym goer: Are you okay? 

Me: *smiling and feeling self confident* I’m perfect thank you 

*Enthusiastic gym goer walks by again* Are you sure you’re okay? 

Me: *slightly annoyed because he’s messing up my vibe* Yes thank you. 

*Enthusiastic gym goer walks by another time* Are you very sure you’re okay? 

Me: *looks up about to give him a piece of my mind and looks around to see if anyone else is noticing this harassment only to realise they’re all staring at me* Yes? 

Enthusiastic gym goer: well then why are you using that for your legs instead of your hands? 

Can you imagine how absolutely terrible that would be for me? I just won’t be able to handle that kind of embarrassment, I’m sorry but I can’t do it.


2. The IAJ

Irritation, Annoyance and Jealousy. Say what you want bur I’m going to be truthful and say that if I’m at the gym trying to work out, trying to get that summer body, that vacation body, trying to get my curves on lock down, trying to gain some muscles and I’m looking like a rat whilst doing it, the last thing I want to see is someone looking like some type of model elegantly exercising next to me.

I’m sorry but that’s just the truth. I know we’re all supposed to facing our own lanes and focus on our own work but if I’m struggling with lifting weights and you’re over there on the treadmill, speed at 8 and you’ve been going for the last 40 minutes, IAJ is gonna hit me a lot sooner than later. People are going to read this and be like nah those people don’t exist but I know they do, I’m sure of it, I know you guys are out there.


3. Breathing

I know this is stupid and I’m crazy for thinking this but I’m scared that I’ll be listening to loud music on the treadmill, thinking that I’m breathing all soft and gentle but really I sound like a train and everyone can hear me and is silently judging me. I cannot be the only one that is scared of this.


4. Distractions

If you know me, you’ll know I get distracted and there’s nothing more distracting than a very good looking guy working out at the gym. The more you try not to stare, the more you find yourself staring. And if you’re like me, you’ll try to do things that catch his eye, things that you think will impress him. Before you know it you’ve deserted the treadmill and have walked from one side to the other at least 10 times.



5. And lastly the one I would never admit, I’m just lazy 

As much as I’d never admit it, one can never deny the truth. I’m just lazy but the thing is, it’s not completely my fault. In order for me to get to the nearest gym, I’d have to take the bus. Do you know how much an adult bus ticket cost? Sure I want a summer body but I need money more. Do you know how long it would take to get there? Getting there is already like 20 minutes, so going there and back, transportation would be 40 minutes. Do you know what a B could do with that time? Time is money kids, and I need money.


So there you have it, 5 main reasons why you wont catch me at the gym. With all honesty though, I really should start going. Your physical health is important kids, remember that.

Hope you had a lovely week,

Gedo xx

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